Right, now we really are at the end. Or, too be more specific, the epilogue. Core Design, in a stroke of characteristic genius, decided to return to the awesomeness that is Lara’s humble abode, toss in some weaponry and a few moving targets, switch on “night mode” and let the fun commence. It’s the perfect way to wind down after climax of the game; it’s like the video game equivalent of tea and an after-eight mint.
Having spent the past few weeks plundering ships, defacing temples and ensuring her place on Venice’s Most Wanted list, Lara finally has the Dagger of Xian and has returned home to relax by a roaring fire and study her prize.
However, the late Marco Bartoli’s remaining henchmen are pretty upset by how things have turned out and have driven to Lara’s home to seek their revenge and reclaim the dagger. Aided only by a shotgun and a few thousand shells, Lara must protect herself and her home from the onslaught.
The afore-mentioned roaring fire. Or, alternatively, Lara has so much excess gold that she’s decided to set some of it alight. No wonder people hate the decadent upper classes.
Just look at the size of that bed compared to Lara. I’m surprised she could get up onto it without a step ladder.
While Lara admires her pretty new toy, the Fiamma Nera have managed to bypass Lara’s front gates and have parked their vans haphazardly over the driveway.
Lara moves swiftly to the massive cupboard by her bed, wherein lies a solitary shotgun and a boatload of ammo.
The one time Lara could probably use a cup of tea and that doddering dust-cloud of a butler is nowhere to be seen.
Halfway through the level, I realised that I was wasting the opportunity to listen to one of the greatest pieces of music ever recorded whilst simultaneously shooting bad guys (“to hell!”).
There’s something about this van that screams “cute”. I think it’s the comical little wheels. It’s like that obese internet seal with the blue bucket.
After a suitable about of time and people have passed, the man I like to call “Mr Twin Shotguns” enters the scene – a name that I realised half-way through battle was something of a misnomer, seeing as he’s actually just a slightly less-ugly version of Giant Revolver Guy.
Her home goon-free once again, Lara opts for a quick shower. Somewhere in 1997, millions of porn-starved adolescent pulses begin to race.
“Don’t you think you’ve seen enough?” Lara scolds, disappointing many pixel-based erotica fans and providing me with a default signature line for the next fifteen years. Then she takes up her shotgun shell and blows the camera away.
And that’s the end of Tomb Raider II. And look, the game gives us our final statistics! Using a calculator and a vague memory of GCSE Mathematics, I figured out that my shooting was roughly 80% accurate and and my average level time was 56 minutes and 28 seconds. How’s that for some fun facts?
I will be posting my Tomb Raider II recap sometime in the near future and then we’ll be moving on to Tomb Raider II: The Golden Mask. See you soon! :D